I am alive.

I don't think my heart will ever become proportionate to the amount of love I've learned these past six months,

reckless, wild, unfair, ..yet so incredibly pure.

i suffocated in helpless endeavors; drowning in my own self righteousness.

& came back to life through a glimpse of courage, simplicity & reverence.

a tamed heart for such sake.

" night comes quickly from the break of day, gotta see the light before it gets away. like a true friends smile or a loves first kiss,.. an open heart makes it worth the risk. reach out your hand & ill give you mine.. 

cause we'll never win if we never try. ."

Chapter 24 [of Phantastes] George Macdonald

I knew now, that it is by loving, and not by being loved, that one can come nearest the soul of another; yea, that, where two love, it is the loving of each other, and not the being loved by each other, that originates and perfects and assures their blessedness.

seeing as it is the last day for 2009 and being my last day here at my little coffee shop I thought I should dedicate a post to mill st coffee,

you were hard,
brilliant,
lovely,
you taught me,
you held me,

you helped me see, feel and listen

you scared me,

stressed me out

& aknowledged me,

I had fun with you.

i will miss you so

there is a sense of strong disappointment requiring my full attention. asserting itself with leaky eyes and routine tightness,, thought to be a desperate attempt of hope and simplicity gasping for fresh air. but the air is burned and all practicality is succumbing to the weakness of a day dream. its how a tender thought loses touch and how anticipation loses meaning..

 but then all of a sudden..


my heart remembered to sing...